Day 3: Body By Vi

Breakfast: Snickerdoodle Shake (HOLY COW, this is delicious!!!--definitely my favorite so far!!)
Snack: 9 Quakes
Snack: 1 Low Fat Peach Yogurt
Lunch: Coconut Cream Pie Shake (Good, but not phenomenal)
Snack: 10 Quakes (I'm seriously addicted to the caramel and buttered popcorn flavors)
Dinner: Chicken Breast w/ Low Fat Ranch & Brown Rice
Snack: 1 LARGE Piece of Cornbread
Snack: 10 Tostitos w/ Salsa

Yesterday was kinda rough...I ate A LOT...but I was SO HUNGRY for some reason...and I did really good, up until my last two snacks...those were naughty!  I have no problem eating when I'm hungry when I'm on a diet as long as they're healthy snacks...and those last two definitely were not.  Oh well, onto a new day, right?!?!?  :)

Day 2: Body By Vi

Breakfast: White Chocolate Coffee Shake (OMG, amazing...see recipe below!)
Snack: 9 Quakes
Lunch: Granola Bar & Chocolate Cheescake Shake (meh, I was disappointed with this one...probably not making it again)
Snack: Banana & 5 Quakes (I LOVE these things!)
Dinner: Modified Taco Salad...came up with this on the fly it was DELISH! (recipe below)
Dessert: (I know, I know, this is a little naughty, but Beckham has been BEGGING to make a cake, so we did...and I had a piece...but it was a small one, I swear!)small slice of yellow cake w/ VERY light frosting.

White Chocolate Coffee Shake Recipe:
2 rounded scoops Vi
7oz. Almond Milk (original, unsweetened)
1 tbsp Fat Free/Sugar Free White Chocolate Pudding Mix
1 tbsp Instant Coffee
5 ice cubes

Modified Taco Salad:
I really was just flying by the seat of my pants for this one, but it ended up being great...didn't do any measuring, just threw it together, so you can use as much or as little of anything as you'd like :)

-Browned Ground Turkey and when there were only a few minutes left until it'd be done I threw in some diced tomato and red pepper.
-Made my own Low Fat Buttermilk Ranch Dressing (just used the packet ranch mix and low fat sour cream, this tastes SO much better than the bottled stuff).
-In a bowl I put a large handful of shredded lettuce and about 1/2 a cup of cooked brown rice, put the browned turkey & veggies on top, and added a dollup of dressing...it was SO YUMMY...and SO quick & easy!

Day 1: Body By Vi

Good Morning!

Yesterday was my first day of my new diet and I must say it went well...these shakes are pretty amazing :)  I am going to blog everything I eat each day this week, so you can see a sample menu of how I'm doing this diet and I can let you know what I think of each of the shake flavors(...and it's always helpful to me when I'm tracking what I eat...keeps me honest).

Breakfast: Blended Coffee Shake (gotta have my coffee in the morning, and this was GREAT!)
Snack: 9 Quakes
Lunch: Banana Coconut Breeze Shake (this shake was DELICIOUS) & Kashi Granola Bar
Snack: Banana
Dinner: 2 Grilled Chicken Drumsticks and Brown Rice

If you're interested in ordering, please go here.

Body By ViSalus

Has anyone heard of this stuff before??  If not, Body By ViSalus (or Body By Vi) is a shake based weight loss program.  Several people I'm friends with on Facebook have been using their products and posting like crazy about them, so I asked a few questions and did some research...and I'm going to give it a try!  On top of the weight loss aspect I've also discovered that there are a number of additional health benefits to using their products...that's a win-win!  I should receive my product tomorrow and will be starting over the weekend...I think on Sunday :)

I've never used a product like this and I'm anxious to get started.  At a fb-friends recommendation, I went with the Shape Kit, it's $99 for a months worth of shake mix (2 shakes a day).  They've got a pretty good "rewards" program running...if you sign up for automatic monthly shipment (which can be cancelled anytime, up to 5 days before a shipment is scheduled) for every 3 people you get signed up you get a month free...that seems like a good deal...especially since a few girls I know only paid for their first month and haven't paid for it since!

The way that this will work is...you have a shake in the morning for breakfast, a shake for lunch, and a healthy and well portioned dinner...and of course healthy snacks in between.  Their whole thing with the shakes is that they're supposed to be DELICIOUS...I've read numerous times that they are "The shake mix that tastes like cake mix!"...who doesn't love that??  There are also LOADS of different shake recipes, and they sound mighty yummy!  You can also use the shake mix to make pancakes, cupcakes, and all sorts of other non-shake foods. 

Here are a few shake recipes that I plan on trying immediately:

Chocolate Cheesecake: 6 oz. skim milk, 2 scoops Vi-Shape shake mix, 1 chocolate flavor packet (or 1 Tbsp. cocoa powder), 2 oz. fat-free cream cheese & 5 ice cubes. Blend well in blender.

Blended Coffee: 8 oz. (1 cup) coffee-instant, regular, prepared with water, 1 ½ cup skim milk, 2 scoops Vi-Shape shake mix, 1 chocolate flavor packet & 4 ice cubes. Blend well in blender.

Banana Cream: 8 oz. water/skim/almond milk , 1 TBSN sugar free Banana Cream pudding mix(dry), 2 Scoops Vi-Shape shake mix, 1small banana (6” inches), 6 ice cubes. Blend well in blender.

Banana Coconut Breeze: 8 oz. skim milk, 2 scoops Vi-Shape shake mix, 1/2 small frozen banana, 1 banana flavor packet, ½ tsp. coconut extract, & 4 ice cubes. Blend well in blender.

Frozen Banana: 8 oz. skim milk, 2 scoops shake mix, 1 small frozen banana, 1 chocolate flavor packet & 6 ice cubes.

Snickerdoodle: 8 oz. light vanilla soy milk, 2 scoops Vi-Shape shake mix, 1/2 tsp. cinnamon extract, 1 Tbsp. Honey & 5 ice cubes. Blend well in blender.

Triple Chocolate Smash: 8 oz. Silk Light Chocolate Soy Milk, 2 scoops Vi-Shape shake mix, 1 chocolate flavor packet (or 1 Tbsp. cocoa powder), 1 Tbsp. fat-free sugar-free chocolate pudding mix & 4 ice cubes. Blend well in blender.

So, we'll see how this goes, I'm feeling rather optimistic :)

Has anyone used this before??  Any pointers for me??

Happy Thursday!

** Body By ViSalus has no idea who I am :) **

I'm baaaack ;)

We have returned from our vacation...not sure if that should get a :) or a :(

We had a fabulous time, it was great for just the four of us to getaway together and enjoy one another!  The weather was perfect...mid to upper 70's and sunny the entire time and we were able to do everything we had planned :)

On Friday we checked out 2 restaurants I'd heard about on the Food Network, did a little shopping at an outlet mall, and hung around the hotel.  Saturday we went to the Piedmont Row area for breakfast, then to the Lazy 5 Ranch (which was totally awesome!), then to the Uptown area for dinner.  Sunday we had brunch down town, then went to Elevation-Blakeney for the Easter Service (absolutely amazing experience), then drove to Chapel Hill for the night.  After getting breakfast in Durham, we spent all day Monday on Duke's campus (SO much fun).

Over the next few days I'll be posting about everything we did and putting some pictures up, so stay tuned!

E

Elevation Vacation

Happy Monday!

I am SO excited...Thursday night we are leaving for Charlotte, NC...we're taking a 4 day vacation over Easter.  The main purpose of this trip is because we have been wanting to visit Elevation Church and we figured Easter was as good (or, even better) a time as any.  Since about October of last year my husband and I have been streaming the Sunday services and watching them at home.  Pastor Steven is terrific, the sermons are always on point, and the music is amazing.  Elevation Church is often noted as one of the fastest growing churches in the country, and we're really looking forward to seeing in person what God is doing there. 


*Holiday services are ticketed events (for free, obviously) because they have such an enormous number of visitors*

While we are in Charlotte we are also going to be going to an exotic animal ranch out there, where you can feed giraffes...how cool is that?!?!  Beckham says this is going to be the best part of vacation :)  Then, after church on Sunday we are going to drive to Durham/Chapel Hill area and Monday we are going to Duke...I'm SO excited about this...I'm a HUGE Duke fan! 

We've had an extremely hectic six months or so, and it's going to be so nice for just the four of us to get away and enjoy eachother for a little bit.

Look forward to lots of pictures :)

Anyone from the Charlotte area reading this??  Please let me know if you have any recommendations for things to do or places to visit.

E

No Monday Weigh-In...

So, I haven't posted a Monday weigh-in in two weeks :(

We had a death in our family, and things have been extremely hectic, and to be honest...diet hasn't really been a main priority for me.  I am definitely still very aware of what I'm eating but I'm not being nearly as strict on myself as normal.  Plus, we're going on vacation later this week and I will NOT be following any diet while we're gone.

I have been weighing myself occasionally and I've been fluctuating up and down a pound so I'm still doing pretty ok.  I promise in 2 more weeks I'll get back on the wagon :)

E

Rest In Peace Grandma Flo

Last week my husbands grandmother passed away.  She was ill, and we know she's in a better place, but of course it's still hard.

I delivered the eulogy at her service over the weekend...I hope I did her justice.

We are here today to grieve, to mourn, and most importantly to celebrate. When I think of Flo, so many things come to mind...sitting around a table for hours playing rummy--you'd better not win, or else you MUST have been cheating! Bobby & Julie acting crazy in ...Bob & Denise's kitchen and Gram dropping an "Oh hells bells" OR "Oh geez, oh Pete", what's wrong with these kids?!?! Or the famous, Hey Mark, can you get me a shake?...just tell them, "not too thick, not too thin!".

Gram was such a character, she was a mother, a friend, a grandma, most recently she became a great grandma, and she was always a fighter. We did the math and realized she'd been fighting for over 25 years...can you even imagine?!?! That's almost as long as I've been alive. I have trouble imagining having that much strength or that much faith. They say, "Faith is the knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof." Grandma's faith was strong...so, so, strong. In the Bible Jesus tells us, "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in My Father, trust also in Me. In My Father's house there are many rooms, if it were not true I would have told you. I am going now to prepare a place for you." I know that our Lord had prepared a place for Grandma and she is no longer suffering, she is no longer in pain, and she is smiling down on us.

I want to take a moment and address her children, Denise, John, Steve, Mike, & Dave...if there's one thing I can say to comfort you it is that your mom loved you all so much. I know that she'd want to thank all of you for taking such good care of her over the years, and if there is one thing I can say with the utmost of certainty it is that your mom knew how VERY much you all loved her.

I ended with a poem titled, God's Garden.

God looked around his garden
And found an empty place,
He then looked down upon the earth
And saw your tired face.
He put his arms around you
And lifted you to rest.
God's garden must be beautiful
He always takes the best.
He saw the road was getting rough
And the hills were hard to climb.
So he closed your weary eyelids
And whispered, 'Peace be Thine'.
It broke our hearts to lose you
But you didn't go alone,
For part of us went with you
The day God called you home.

Gram, we love you. We will think of you often, remember you always, and look forward to seeing you again.

Monkey See, Monkey Do!

Last weekend we had the kids monkey themed birthday party.  O.M.G. it turned out GREAT :)  You can see the invitations here, and as I stated in this post, I had been planning this party for quite some time.  I had a bit of trouble finding things that weren't exclusively pink or blue so I either made or special ordered pretty much all of the decorations. 

I got these ADORABLE potted centerpieces and cupcake picks from this store. 

 

I made these...

 

and these...

 

and this.

I'll be putting up DIY's for all of the things I made in the coming weeks. 

I ordered personalized shirts for each of the kids from this store...they turned out great (you'll see them in pics below).

Our food was typical...chicken, salad, macaroni salad, rolls, baked beans, green bean casserole, etc... But the desert was where I had lots of fun--we had: Mini Monkey Breads (i had to put mine into cupcake papers after they came out of the oven to keep them from falling apart), Chocolate Covered Frozen Banana Bites, PB Banana Bites, and Homemade Banana Pudding...and cupcakes...'cause kids gotta have cake :)

This was the first year Beckham had a request for something fun at his birthday party...he want a jumpie at his birthday.  This was a toughy...I had to tell him that since he has a winter birthday we couldn't have a jumpie outside, but that we could have something else at his party...eeeek...but what?!?!?!  My mom had seen a balloon twister (or artist?!?) at a restaurant and she thought he was doing some awesome stuff and grabbed his card.  I contacted him, found out the prices were pretty reasonable and booked him...Beckham was thrilled!  The kids had a blast with him, and even the adults thought it was fun!  I'm pretty sure he may become a party staple for us :)  You can find Joe w/ Balloonerrific Creations here!

Here are a few of my faves from the party :)

The kids had a fantastic birthday!  They had so much fun playing with all their cousins and friends, and we had so much fun getting to see and visit with everyone :)  Of course, they were completely spoiled and got LOADS of great gifts!  Once again it's been made quite clear that we have the most amazing friends and family!

E

P.S. I've already started planning next years party...here's a hint: Chirp-Chirp, Tweet-Tweet! (I know...it's like a sickness!)

Beckham is 4!

Today is my little man's birthday.  I swear, I have no idea how this happenned, it doesn't even seem possible that it's been 4 whole years!  He has already opened presents and cannot put down his new Innotab...hopefully, we'll get to keep our phones to ourselves now, LOL :)

I'll put pics up here a little later in the week!

Happy Monday (no weigh in this week!), have a great day!

Monday Weigh In 3/12

What a good morning it is...I'm TWO pounds lighter :)

YAY! 

I am officially half way to my goal!!!!

Have a great week-
E

Kendall is 1!

Last Tuesday my baby girl turned 1 year old!  I can hardly believe how quickly the past year has gone by.



Kendall's 1st Picture



Our beautiful girl, 7days old.

I took the day off for her birthday and we went to lunch with my Oma :)

In the evening we had a little cake with the in-laws and she got to open up her presents from Momma, Dada, and Brother :)



I'm 1!

Hanging out in her new chair...Beckham may have been squeezing a little too tight!

Monkey slippers!

 (If you're ever looking for a great gift for a young child...check out these chairs from Pottery Barn Kids.  They start out at around $100 w/ free monogram and shipping.  Beckham got one for his first bday and still uses it, 3 yrs later, on a daily basis, it's terrific.  We bought one for our very good friends sons first bday and it was a real hit :) So, naturally we had to get one for our Cutie Girl!)

We had a fun day!  Can't wait for the kids birthday party this weekend!

Monday Weigh In...two days late, 3/7

I was sick the past few days, so I did my weigh in a little late.

Good news, I lost the pound I gained last week!!!

Now, I'm BACK ON TRACK :)

E

My Little Monkey's Invitations!

Invitations have been designed, printed, and mailed out! 

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd, here they are!

I am SO, SO, pleased with how they turned out...I ordered them from this Etsy shop.

More party details to come :)

Monday Weigh In 2/27

Weighed in this morning...I'm up a pound...WOMP, WOMP, WOMP.

I kind of suspected it...I work downtown and this past week was Chicago's Restaurant Week (where some of the best restaurants in the city make very well priced prix fixe menus for lunch and dinner) and I did indulge in a few "naughty" meals.  Oh well, not getting discouraged...just gotta do REALLY good this week!

Happy Monday!
E

My Little Monkeys

I'm currently planning the kids birthday party...and I'm getting SO excited :)  We are doing a purple & green monkey theme...and I ordered them SUPER cute hats off of etsy at this store to use for pictures on the invitations.  They came in the mail yestereday...seriously, I don't think it gets any cuter!



My Kendall girl isn't as fond of hats as her brother



Beckham LOVING his new hat















 

I came across some really cute birthday invitation wording (Monkey See Monkey Do--It's a Party for TWO!...pretty sure it was meant for twins, but it still works for me) while I was pregnant with Kendall and ever since I've been eagerly waiting to use it.  Since this is Kendall's first birthday, this is also my first time trying to do a birthday party that's a little more gender neutral...and it's not so easy.  Everything "monkey" that I've come across has either been PINK or BLUE (I'm not fond of either color when it comes to kids stuff...it just seems so expected)...or sock monkey, but I'm not crazy about that design, so most of the stuff I'm either making myself OR had specially made on etsy.  As I get the rest of the things done/delivered I'll be sure to post them on here.

Annnnnnnnnnnd, if you have any gender neutral/themed bday party ideas, I'd love to hear them!

E

Monday Weigh In 2/20

Good Morning!

I weighed in this morning 3lbs lighter than last week!!!!!  Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!  :)

I LOVE that my hard work is paying off!  Just as an update...I haven't done any workouts or yoga in the past few weeks...I've been trying to get things done around the house, and blah-blah-blah...really I've just been lazy.  All of my recent weight loss (the last 3 weeks) has just been from eating right...I really believe that your diet is the most important part when trying to lose weight, I know for me when my diet is on point the pounds just fall off.  So, if you're not into the working out thing don't worry, just modify what you're eating and get started that way...I'm not a big fan of exercising/working out and usually just do it in spurts, and it seems to work just fine for me.

I tried the two recipes that I posted last Monday, and the pizza is DELICIOUS, I think I had that 3 times last week...one day I added some shredded chicken breast I had leftover and it was great, the Greek salad pita was very good too...both recipes are SUPER easy to prepare and are very tasty...I'm pretty sure these will become staples for me during the week.

Happy Monday!
Erica

Happy Valentine's Day

This is Beckham's first year giving out Valentine's, so I knew I wanted to do something a little different and special.  I love finding easy projects that he can help with and was super excited when I stumbled upon this on pinterest, as soon as I saw it, I knew I could easily put my own spin on this little project!

The sitter tries to keep things relatively healthy (plus, who wants to take care of 6-3/4yr olds on a sugar high?!?!?), so I didn't want to send candy, I thought this was perfect...and Beckham could help :)

Here's what we did, SO simple and inexpensive (we made 18 crayon cakes)--

Supplies:

Silcone Baking Sheet ($3 @ Wal-Mart)

3 boxes of crayons ($1ea @ Five Below)

Mini chinese take-out boxes (pk of 6 $1.97 @ Wal-Mart)

First we peeled the paper off of the crayons and broke them in half (sometimes in thirds). 

Then we put 10(ish) crayon pieces in each heart. 

I baked them for about 12 minutes in a 350degree oven and then let them cool for 30 minutes.



This is what they looked like straight from the oven

Popped them out of the baking sheet and Voila!


He was VERY proud of his creations :)

I printed up a simple tag to attach to each take-out box and they were ready to go. 

 





Beckham is SO excited to hand them out today :)

Hope everyone has a lovely V-Day!

Erica

Monday Weigh In 2/13

Good Morning!

Weighed in this morning....DROPPED 2LBS. THIS WEEK :) 

I also came across two VERY yummy sounding recipes in Fitness magazine yesterday while I was getting my hair done.  I'm going to be trying both of these this week, and I'll let you know how they turn out.

Happy Monday!
Erica

Working on my fitness!

Ok, so I'm currently working on losing the last of my baby K weight...ugh...I think dieting and exercising are the only two things I can honestly say I HATE!...but, I love their outcomes so much I do it anyway :/

So, I am currently in the process of losing 27lbs. Eeeeek, that seems like an awful lot :(  I've been watching what I eat and just recently took up yoga and have lost 7lbs. since early January :)  I typically weigh myself on Monday's, so I'll start posting a weekly weight update as well as any tips or recipes I come across.

About two years ago, I joined Weight Watchers and lost 21lbs., they really do have a great program and I like that it's a lifestyle thing versus a diet...I did really well on the program, lost all my weight in about 3 months (obviously WW's has no idea who I am and they're not paying me to say these things...though, I wish they would!)...then I got pregnant...timing's everything, right?!?!  Anyways, right now I'm back on a "diet" similar to what I was doing for WW's (the old plan...I know nothing about this Points Plus thing), it worked for me before so I'm hoping it will again.

I'm a visual person, so I thought it might be a good idea to do before/after photos...just so I can actually see how far I've come.  These photos were taken today....try not to judge!!!

Yikes, now get off this page and go look at something else!!!

Have a great weekend!
E

Missing my Opa

9 days ago I lost one of the greatest people in my life.  My Opa (german for grandpa) at the age of only 76, passed away after a two and a half year battle with Melanoma.  I am just so incredibly saddened by this loss and I'm hoping by getting some of these thoughts out it will help with healing/grieving process.  I have little to no relationship with my father and so for me that's more what my Opa was...a dad...he walked me down the aisle at my wedding, he was in the hospital waiting room when I was having both of my babies, holidays, birthdays, CUBS games, he and I were so close and did so much together...I can't believe that's over.



Opa and I at my wedding reception 08-08-08

Beckham, Me, Opa, & Kyle (my brother) at a Cubs game, summer 2010

 We were very lucky to have him with us for so long...the average life expectancy after being diagnosed with Melanoma is only 10 months, Opa was with us for 30!  We're even luckier if you take into consideration that (with the exception of the last few weeks) the last two and a half years were pretty great...he had chemo and radiation, had a couple of surgeries, but he always recovered well and he suffered from very few side effects (and sometimes NONE).  This was a blessing...but sometimes I think this is what has made it even harder...he always seemed to bounce right back...the cancer was always there, and unfortunately he never responded to any of the treatments he was given but, until the very end, he never even had any symptoms...no pains, no sickness, nothing.  I guess I was always just hoping against hope, that he'd just keep on keeping on.  I wasn't in denial, I knew how sick he was and what the ultimate outcome would most likely be...he had tumors EVERYWHERE--his throat, abdomen, spine, every time he went for a scan they found more...but honestly, if you just saw him out and about, and weren't told, you would have thought he was perfectly healthy.



Beckham, Oma, Kendall, & Opa, February 2011



Opa and Kendall, March 2011



Opa and Beckham, bowling buddies, November 2011

 The last few weeks though, boy they were brutal.  I wouldn't wish what he went through on anyone...it was terrible to see someone you love deteriorate right before your eyes.  About eight weeks ago, he became VERY disoriented and irritable, my mom was at my grandparents home and called his doctor and he told her to take him to the ER...later that night we found out there were new tumors...this time, in his brain.  The doctors said they'd start radiation immediately, but due to the size and quantity of the tumors, they'd just be buying him a little time...maybe 6 months to a year.  We were all heartbroken, but still optimistic, we'd heard this so many times before, and like I said, he had always just kept on going...he started radiation, and after 3 weeks there was another trip to the ER, he was in lots of pain...he said his whole body was hurting.  They took another scan and found more tumors, they were in his chest on his back...and they found that the radiation had done nothing for the tumors in his brain...some tumors were the same size they'd been a few weeks prior, others had grown larger, and there were new ones.  The doctors said they thought he had two weeks to two months left to be with us.  It was like our worst fears were coming true. 



Kendall and Opa, visiting during December's hospital trip



Me and my Op's, visiting during his last hospital trip, January 2012

 Over the next several days my mom and Oma (german for Grandma) coordinated everything for him to come home...they set up for hospice to be at the house, got all of his supplies--hospital bed, wheel chair, ca mode, pain meds, etc.--delivered and set up, and then he was discharged...the doctors said there would be good days and bad days, days when he'd seem perfectly fine and able to carry on normal conversation and days when he'd get confused or not seem to make much sense to us.  He was home for two weeks.  I managed to make it over there with the kids as much as I could--everyday or every other day, and tried to make a few last minute memories.  For the most part, he had good days, there were times when he asked what seemed like goofy questions and he had a few conversations with people we couldn't see, but he always knew when we were there and knew who we were and was able to squeeze out a few smiles for us. 

My whole life I'd only known my Opa to be atheist...and not just a wishy-washy one either...this is a man who had read the Bible...the entire thing, cover-to-cover and didn't believe.  I'll tell you he was one of the smartest men I've ever known...except for in this belief (or lack thereof)...I had talked to my family and decided it would be a good idea to see if the pastor from my church would be able to come by and visit with my Opa.  I called and talked to Pastor Bob on Sunday, January 22 and arranged for him to come by grandparents the following evening.  Pastor Bob arrived at 6pm and at 6:28pm I was walking him back out the door.  I truly believe that in those 28 minutes, I witnessed a miracle.  I brought Pastor Bob in to meet my Opa and it was like an instant moment of clarity for him...he was talking to Pastor Bob completely normal...cracking jokes, talking about the Marine Corp, meeting Oma (five minutes prior, Opa was asking me when I was going to meet with Obama again!).  After some chit-chat and building a little rapport, Pastor Bob told my Opa he knew how sick he was, and that normally he wasn't quite so forward or abrupt, but said that he just had to ask him point blank...do you know the Lord?...do you want to know the Lord?...to which my Opa said clear as day, "Yes, I do."  Pastor Bob went on to talk to my Opa for a few minutes and then they prayed together, and with tears running down his face, my Opa accepted God, and was saved.  My Oma was in the room, she was crying and had the biggest smile across her face...I was holding one of my Opa's hands and crying...when they were done praying, Pastor Bob was going to leave so my Opa could enjoy this time with his family, and my Opa looked at him and said, "I just have one question for you...where have you been all my life?"...Pastor Bob grinned a little and told him it didn't matter where he'd been, or if they had met twenty years prior, nothing would have been different, this was his time.  It was amazing.

Over the course of the next 6 days, Opa's health deteriorated pretty quickly.  On Wednesday he was complaining of a pain in his neck (another tumor) and by Thursday evening he was having trouble talking and swallowing.  The next morning when the nurse came she said she thought he may only have about 48 hours left.  I don't work on Friday's so the kids and I were there most of the day, and Bobby came over in the evening to visit and bring Kendall home...Beckham and I were there until 9 or so.  Opa was still there, very alert and able to nod in agreeance and to say I Love You.  We went back over to the house Saturday afternoon, he had refused to sleep at all Friday night, and by the time we got there you could see how exhausted he was.  We would bring Kendall into the room every now and then and she'd give him a kiss and he would give a huge smile.  Beckham would come in and visit every now and then in between playing and say "I love you, Tic-Toc!" (another german-ish thing meaning, great-grandpa) and my Opa would nod his head vigorously to tell him he loved him too.  At one point it was just my Oma and I in the room with him and I asked my Opa if he knew how much I loved him (which is silly, because I already knew he did!) and he shook his head, then I told him that Beckham would always remember him and that Kendall would always know who he was and told him if he was tired he didn't have to keep fighting for us, and that we'd all take care of each other...he shook his head again and a tear ran down his face.  When I left that night, I said goodbye to my Opa, held his hand, and gave him a big kiss...he squeezed my hand and wouldn't let it go, so I sat with him for a few more minutes.  Before I went to the car I told my mom and aunt that if anything changed it didn't matter what time they had better call me.

At 6am Sunday, January 29th the phone rang, it was my mom saying she thought I should come over...something was different.  I woke up Bobby to tell him I was leaving, and headed over.  When I got to the house, Opa's breathing was so labored and loud...his eyes barely open, and he was no longer able to let us know if he was conscious or not.  My Oma, mom, aunt, brother, cousin, and I spent all morning with him in his room, I sat with him in his bed, my Oma, mom, and aunt were at either side of him, and my brother and cousin were sitting at the foot of his bed.  I pulled out my cell phone and turned on Pandora and played some of his favorite music.  We just sat there with him, telling him we loved him but that it was ok...he didn't have to fight anymore.  His nurse arrived just before 10:30 that morning, and told us a bit of what was going on and how his body was beginning to shutdown and that there likely wasn't much time left...she went to take his blood pressure and just as she got the sleeve around his arm he opened his eyes wide and took a deep silent breath, that would be his last.  I think I actually felt heartbroken for the first time in my life.  It was so sad to know that he was gone...that I wouldn't hear his voice again (or at least for a very long time) or be able to call him on the phone, or go to a Cubs game or hear another bad joke.

I am so very sad for my loss...but I can honestly say that I am happy for him.  He was in pain, he wouldn't have ever wanted to live like that.  I know that he is in Heaven, and he is happy and healthy, has no pain and can take deep sweet breaths.  I know that he is at peace.  I don't know how people who do not have faith in God are able to handle such a loss...to think that they are just gone...it's just over...it seems like that would make an already sad time almost unbearable.  I know that he is at peace and happy in Heaven and I know that I will see him again.  This is the greatest comfort.

I love you Opa, I said it first and thought it first, hahaha!